31 October 2008

Sta-Cleen Capitalism

It all started that fateful October day in Toledo when the Senator from Illinois crossed paths with every day man Joe Wurlzelbacher. 
Little did Barack Obama know that this was no Ordinary Joe and what he told this guy would change the direction of the campaign. 
Joe questioned Obama on being taxed if he were to ever achieve his American Dream:  To take over his boss' plumbing business. 

Obama's now well-publicized response: "I think that when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody" got the pundits' tongues wagging and their flags waving. That smelled like Socialism.  

Our economic system might be sick as dog, with the Dow vomiting most its value, but we Americans are proud of our Crystal Clean Capitalist system. 

Nothing screams more Anti-American than Socialism. The Red White and Blue Blood boiled in the Fiscal Conservatives. And many Americans were confused- what should they fear more? The Black of Barack's Skin or the Red of his Commie Soul? Being we stand at Economic Ground Zero, this strike at the US' Belief in Private Enterprise for Private Profit was far more terrifying. 

The McCain Campaign adopted Mr. Wurlzelbacher as the official mascot of the common man. Officially changing his name to "Joe the Plumber", John McCain referenced him 23 times in the final Presidential debate. His words resonated to many who saw their hard earned money going down the drain Joe had worked so hard to unplug.

Defending our Nation's Free Enterprise system from corrosion, WFTV's Top Reporter Barbara West took on Barack Obama's running mate, Democratic Vice Presidential Candidate Joseph Biden. Straight up she asked him: 
"From each according to his abilities; to each according to his needs. That's from Karl Marx. How is Senator Obama not being a Marxist if he intends to spread the wealth around?" 
In response, The Obama Campaign cancelled all future interviews with the station.

"Spread the Wealth"and Radical Socialism were scary enough topics to partner with terrorist Bill Ayres on Sarah Palin's Campaign Trail of Terror. 

"Obama's tax plan sounds like Socialism. What he wants is the Government to take your money and dole it out and send it to other people. Cut them a check. It's more Government Growth and a Government Giveaway and now's not the time to be experimenting with Socialism!"

You gotta hand it to Sarah Palin. She can plain talk it down so the Average Joe Plumber can understand it. 

It is just like the Government cutting a check. It is just like a Government Giveaway.  It is just like... just like... just like..... uh.... just like that er, ecomomic stimulus check that our Squeaky Clean Capitalist Government sent out last year. The 130 million stimulus payments that were sent out in May 2007?   Remember Those? You  Betcha! 
Our True Blue Capitalist Government that some feel they need to protect from this big bad Socialist theory is not as virtuous as its defenders make it out to be.  So they can stop cowering behind the big bald head of Joe Wurzelbacher. 

If they truly do believe in the cause and want to clean up the Capitalist system, then they know what they must do. Back-Hand It. Clear Our Capitalist Society of the Evil that You Fear. Rid Yourself of the Mortal Sin of Socialism. Give it Back!  It is the only way to clear your conscience and resurrect True American Capitalism. 

So, I will break it down. If you were Single in 2007 with an Adjusted Gross Income of less than $75,000.00, return the $600.00 you received to the US Government. Couples, the Government will be expecting $1,200.00 of its Socialist funds. We must start somewhere.

Oh! The Government also handed out a $300.00 per child credit. So don't forget to hand that back, too. As no child is left behind under this Socialism-Take-Back Initiative.  

Anyone who made too little to pay income tax, you are not exempt, as Socialism is Communal, even in its Return Policy. You will need to return the $300.00 you were sent. However, this may be sent in installments. 

We can change our evil ways. Don't just talk America. Stand up and Take Action.  You can fight Socialism with More than Words! We can Show the Government by Shoving their Socialist Economic Stimulus Checks Up their  IR-ASS!  

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