19 March 2009

Is She Human?

I tried to abide by the Intervention rules and stop cold turkey but it has proved impossible. 
My addiction to all things Palin is too strong. I didn't blog about Bristol and Levi's recent breakup but this... this is too much. 

Throwing away everything she's learned from the African Witch Doctor who recently Baptized her, Sarah Palin is now turning to the Cult of Tom Cruise, aka Scientology for advice.

This is no joke. Sarah is being primed and guided by her "Political Action Committee" Chief  John Coale. 

According to RNC spokespeople, John Coale  is in charge of "protecting the Palin brand". 
He is also a Semi-Grand Poo Bah of Scientology. This means the RNC thinks it is best for Sarah's 'brand' to be managed by a Science Fiction Freak of Nature.  

You might think I am being harsh, but Coale, a prominent Washington lawyer is not a Scientology slouch.  He is at the cult's 2nd most powerful level- an OT-VII. 

Another interesting fact about OT -VII Thetan John Coale- he is the husband of another esteemed Scientologist Weirdo, Greta Van Susteren

(Greta is the "journalist" on Fox "News" with the 
droopy lip. The one that's so annoying you can't listen to the fluffer questions she spits out whenever she visits Wasilla.) I do not know what level in the cult Greta has reached, but I imagine to be married to a Level 2, you must not take it lightly either. 

Out of respect for the 'religion', I must now refer to all subjects as "Thetans". As founder L. Ron Hubbard defines them, a "Thetan" is comprised of  2,314 alien spirits- or what we would refer to as "Human". 

This is what's known. 

It is known John Coale is a Sci-Fi Superfreak who believes that a Galactic Ruler, Xenu, once seized billions of people while they were being tax audited; he froze them and put them on rocket-powered DC-8's and dumped them into volcanos. 

Xenu then killed them by dropping Hydrogen Bombs into those volcanos, then caught their souls with a big piece of flypaper. These souls then coagulated into groups of 2,314 and became 'Thetans".

Coale does know this because he donated enough money to be at his Level (around $300,000). Because that's about all it takes to be at Level OT-VII. Also, this information is available to anyone with access to Google. 

It is known that Sarah Palin believes the Earth was created a mere 6,000 years ago. And she believes man frolicked with dinosaurs... and that women were made when a man named Adam pulled out a rib from his chest. 

It is not known if Sarah has joined Scientology or would want to move up the "Bridge" to higher Scientology levels. I would assume some major changes to her religious base of ideas would need to be altered. But would she sell out her spiritual beliefs for political power? Oh wait, she already did when she met the Witch Doctor.

And it is known that a favored MO of the Scientologists is to seduce those in power. And power is something generously handed to Sarah Palin from those in the RNC.  These people worship her for reasons undetectable by those not in the RNC. To show proof of this, they have chosen Thetan Palin to be the keynote speaker at their June 8 address.

And finally, it is known that when it comes to all things Palin, no sci-fi writer could make this shit up! 

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