04 December 2009

A Smashing Year

The year is (fortunately) coming to an end. If anything, it will be known as the "Year of the Crash" for all the depressing events we endured. Here are my Burning Fierce Top 5 CRASH stories of 2009.

1. the U.S. Economy
Gone (for now) are the mind-blowing profits and Dow Highs that made us fat and comfortable. The bursting bubble of our real estate market created a domino effect that sunk the value of our dollar and watched employment plummet.

2. The White House Party Crashers.
They dropped themselves straight into a reality show guaranteed to have very few viewers. This story would have been better if the imaginary child in the balloon had crashed through the ceiling.

3. Taylor Swift being Kanye'd at the Video Music Awards.
Mr. West is a Stage crasher of the worst kind. The award for biggest D-Bag goes to....

4. Tiger Woods' Wife's Golf Club Crashing into his Car (after Tiger Crashed it into a tree). A double crash! However deserved, the negative publicity isn't worth the reported $80 million she may receive to stay in the marriage. Then again the $80 million does explain how such a boring man can lure so many women into performing "indiscretions" with him.

5. the Hannah Montana Doll Drops the f-Bomb. Kids' eardrums are blistering with the way some Moms think her doll pronounces the word 'Pumpkin' in song. Please note, this is only some Moms- those that never swear when their little angels forget to pick up their toys or smear diaper filling on the walls, of course.
We can only hope these moms crash from their meth highs next year.

And let's hope 2010 will bring some "Up's"-and I'm not talking film titles. I think we all deserve some.

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